she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
