He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i think i just lost a toe
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
