Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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