wakey wakey hands off snakey
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
