It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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