SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
