I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Let's paint friendship bongs
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
