I just made out with a guy for $7.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
