i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize