Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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