My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
