thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
