Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
