found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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