I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
