Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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