I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
