why do cheetos always look like penises
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
