My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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