She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
