White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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