I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
