I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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