Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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