69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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