weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
