This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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