you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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