Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
