I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
