I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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