If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
