there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize