Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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