I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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