she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
