I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
