worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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