WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize