Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
