Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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