1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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