David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
