If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
