maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
