Where did you get a picture of my penis
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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