You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
