Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
