you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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