Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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