Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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