She announced her abortion via fbk
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I still have a little drunk in my system
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
