I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
