At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
