the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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